Needs are just that. We all have needs: For oxygen, water, sleep, human touch, etc. Neediness is a different thing.
Neediness is when a person has the inner resources to provide or resolve something for themselves, and their deepest truth is that they have the desire to do so, but they aren’t aware of those two truths because they also have conditioned self-judgements which stop them from recognising both their ability and their desire to solve the thing self-sufficiently. (If they didn’t have a self-judgement operating on them and limiting them, yet they weren’t able to meet the need for themselves at all, it would simply be a straightforward need.)
The result of people’s Neediness, of their inability to recognise that they can resolve the thing for themselves, is that it drives them to attempt to gain the thing from another person or other people, leading to their company being unattractive to others. And the greatest cause of Neediness is not recognising that we can handle our own emotions and feelings (Emotional Infinity) if other people do or don’t choose certain things, often leading to the feeling of needing to control those people.
Here’s how to understand Neediness:
| Love Consciousness Swipe Left | Fear Consciousness |
|---|---|
| Allowed to recognise one’s own strength or ability to either meet the need, or cope without it | Not allowed to recognise one’s own strength or ability to meet the need, or cope without it |
| (Not Needy) | (Needy) |
The way to help someone out of Neediness is not to judge them or to try to get them to force their behaviour to be different, but to invite them to let go of the self-judgement, which would empower them if it clears.